We don’t need no stinking Tazer or ASP baton
Back in the day when men drank straight whiskey and smoked 2 packs of non-filter Lucky Strikes a day and way before being metrosexual was cool – handing out an ass-whipping was as normal for a guy as slapping a cocktail waitress on the tail (it was a complement then).
Our old school uncles had colorful choices of weapons to select from when a man wanted to throw the hurt on someone and he didn’t want to go straight to the gun.
Tough guys from all walks of life loved these weapons – Chicago gangsters, mustached 70’s cops, bookies, bail bondsmen and even the neighborhood barman kept one of these within arms reach.
I have thrown together a list of my 3 favorite Old School Weapons in no particular order, along with the advantages and disadvantages of each weapon. Also included are some training and usage tips if you want to bring a little Old School into your 2K’s tactical skills toolbox.
Batter Up Bitch!
The Baseball Bat
Used by everyone from Scarface for keeping the “team” together to your Dad when he heard a bump downstairs and my personal favorite old school weapon. You can’t beat a good Hickory bat for laying down some serous Old School education.
Easy to get your hands on one, you can buy a baseball bat in any city in America in less than a 15 minute ride from wherever you are without any ID. If you throw a bat, ball and baseball glove in the back seat of your car no one will think anything of it.
If you are not careful it is easy to unintentionally kill someone wile giving them a Baseball Bat beat down. Avoid hitting in the head, spine, groin and anywhere on the neck. Also a baseball Bat is hardly concealable or discreet.
My Non-Brass Brass Knuckles
I love Brass Knuckles, out of all the Old School weapons on this list Knuckles are the only one I carry on a daily basis. Brass Knuckles are devastating when used properly; it is basically like wearing a steel glove wile smashing someone.
Now some people say they will hurt your hand more than the person you are hitting – that is sort of true, it all has to do with properly using them. If you punch someone the normal way (hitting with the knuckle) wile wearing a pair it will be painful for the palm of your hand.
The proper way to use Brass Knuckles is striking with a hammer fist (like you see MMA guys do during a “ground and pound”) so you wont hurt your palm.
Used properly Brass Knuckles can be a shocking weapon that will easily break bone and even tear flesh. Knuckles are easily concealed just by sticking them in your back pocket or jacket pocket.
You don’t have to get Brass Knuckles only in brass, they come in aluminum, alloy, steel and plastic. The plastic and aluminum ones are especially lightweight.
Brass Knuckles are illegal in every state in the US (I think) so if you get caught with a pair you could be arrested – I carry mine when I am overseas in countries where they are not illegal. If not used properly you can hurt or even break your hand.
Old School Skull Basher
A Sap or Blackjack
The Sap was introduced to me by one of my buddies that was an old school “pre-Miranda” cop. He said back in the day wile he walked the beat he always carried a Sap in his back pocket. He also carried the heavy end of a pool stick, so as you can guess he wasn’t stingy with the beatings.
The Sap is just a flat leather pouch filled with powdered lead, it feels soft but when the Sap strikes something the powdered lead compresses into what is basically a solid ball of steel. This is probably one of the only impact weapons that was made specifically for hitting people in the head.
Most models of the Sap are small, you can stick one in your pocket without leaving a huge tell-tale lump in your pants. But some Sap models are quite large, so if you carry it in your front pocket it will look like you have a boner.
The sap also requires some practice, it isn’t a plug and play weapon. Hook some 550 cord through an orange and tie it to a tree branch for target practice.
The Sap is illegal to own in many states so check your local laws before you carry one. The Sap is most effective if you hit someone in the head with one, but if you are not careful you can accidentally kill them.
I had a hard time just choosing 3 of my favorite Old School weapons for this list but I didn’t want the article to be 20 pages long. I do want to give a mention to a few more of my favorites that didn’t make the list: the wooden baton, the Italian switchblade and mace.
If you can think of any other Old School Weapons post them in the comments below.
Also don’t forget to wear a gold chain and black leather jacket when using the above weapons or they wont work correctly.
Founder – Editor in Chief
James G is a Veteran Civilian Contractor who has worked in the Middle East and Southeast Asia for way too long. He spends his off time in Indonesia and Virginia getting drunk, shooting guns and writing poorly written articles.