OLD SCHOOL MAN: Habits of the Old School Man – Part 1

The Last of the Old School Men

When I was a kid the type of guys I admired were always the Old School tough guys like Clint Eastwood, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, Sean Connery and pretty much all of the fedora wearing dudes from the 1930s to the 1960s.

You know the type I am talking about, hard drinking, Lucky Strike non-filter smoking men that called ladies dames and would punch a guy in the face for looking at his wife.

These old school men would never wear low-rise jeans, drink decaf coffee, drive a compact car or talk about their “feelings”. They had names like “Nick”, “Joe” and “Mike” not Baxter, Williamson, Francis or any of the other last-name for a first-name pansy names people are naming their brats these days.

They never asked a gal for her number, she just gave it to him because he was a real man – and real men don’t beg for the digits. His car was a fast gas guzzling behemoth, he had a scar from WWII and never died in a bed. His hobbies always included power tools, greasy hands and the possibility of dismemberment.

When the sink was stopped up or the fence blew down he fixed it with his bare hands, the very thought of calling someone to “help” him was sacrilegious. After recently re-watching Dirty Harry, Bullitt, The Untouchables and a few 80’s action flicks I have put together 2 lists of my favorite Old School Man traits and habits.

Below is the first list of the Habits of the Old School Man, part 2 coming soon. These aren’t just simple lists, they are the rules for living the Old School Man lifestyle that has been deleted from everyday society and replaced by romantic comedies and political correctness.

No Emotion

Considering how many men are in therapy crying about how their mommies didn’t breast feed them enough it is surprising that the Old School Man still only has 2 emotions: Angry and Not Very Angry.

If he feels depressed when something terrible happens (like the Cigar shop being out of Cohibas) he doesn’t express his feelings to a shrink – he punches the wall and has a drink of whiskey, then punches the wall again.

Old School Men will rarely shed a tear, in fact, only on very specific occasions is he allowed to cry:

1. When his Dad dies – because he respected his old man, even if he was tough on him growing up.

2. If his buddy dies by his side in combat – immediately after he must kill everyone responsible, preferably with a bayonet or a spoon.

Loyalty

When an Old School Man gets a call at 3AM from a buddy in trouble he walks right out the door to his aid. No questions asked – period.

Drink

Even in these days when so-called men drink peach martinis and mandarin orange vodka the Old School Man still drinks brown liquor, preferably some sort of Whiskey, Scotch or Bourbon, straight up or with a little water.

Having a drink any time after 12 noon is totally acceptable even if he is at work, beer is also fine as long as it isn’t light, from Europe or drank from a glass.

Smoking

When some Birkenstock wearing, Prius driving vegetarian at the next table arrogantly asks him to put out his smoke, the Old School Man fires up a cigar.

He smokes Camel or Lucky Strike non-filters because cigarettes with filters are for women and children. Most Old School men picked up their smoking habit in the Marines.

Cancer won’t ever kill the Old School Man, because the Old School man is the only damn person doing the killing round’ here.

Hunting

Most men these days would puke at the very sight of a fresh baby seal kill that was a result of their own hand. The Old School Man eats the baby seal and sews its hide into a coat for his wife.

Cursing

If it wasn’t for the Old School Mans salty mouth, political correctness and the self-feminization of men would have killed off the word “Fuck” 10 years ago. Old School Men curse, usually wile smoking a cigar and drinking scotch.

Fighting

Today we hear stories on the news about today’s man standing by doing nothing wile someone harms the weak or hurts children But not the Old School Man, If someone messes with him or the defenseless he beats the crap out of them, he takes no shit, he only dispenses it in the form of a beating.

Read The: Habits of the Old School Man – Part 2
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~James G
Founder – Editor in Chief

James G is a Veteran Civilian Contractor who has worked in the Middle East and Southeast Asia for way too long. He spends his off time in Indonesia and Virginia getting drunk, shooting guns and writing poorly written articles.

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20 thoughts on “OLD SCHOOL MAN: Habits of the Old School Man – Part 1”

  1. Fuckin’ A, James!

    My 9 MPG car, my combat boots, my Smith & Wesson Model 66, my Johnny Walker Black, my 85-pound dog and I salute you.

    BTW, men don’t “sew.” We upholster.

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  2. When I said “sew” I meant use a sharpened baby seal bone threaded with the tendons of said dead baby seal to make a coat

    Ether that or have your mistress sew it

    ~James G

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  3. Brian Fantana: I give this little cookie an hour before we’re doing the no-pants-dance. Time to musk up.

    Ron Burgundy: Wow… Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne are you gonna go with? London Gentlemen or… Wait… No no no, hold on – Black Beard’s Delight.

    Brian Fantana: No. She gets a special cologne. It’s called Sex Panther, by Odeon. It’s illegal in 9 countries. Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.

    Ron Burgundy: It’s quite pungent.

    Brian Fantana: Oh yeah.

    Ron Burgundy: It’s a formidable scent… Stings the nostrils… In a good way.

    Brian Fantana: Yep.

    Ron Burgundy: Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline.

    Brian Fantana: They’ve done studies. 60% of the time, it works every time.

    Ron Burgundy: That doesn’t make sense.

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  4. 20 never-before-seen Old School Man photos.
    Handguns, Triumph Motorcycles, Jaguar XKSS (sorry, but there are exceptions to the ’70’s muscle car), hot dames, boxing & weightlifting, animal skin rugs, pick-up truck with beer, Castrol, and cigarettes, red meat, camping with a proper Land Rover, and a big dog.

    http://www.life.com/image/ugc1034972/in-gallery/41172/steve-mcqueen-20-never-seen-photos

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  5. Cool, great piks of Steve there -thanks for the find!

    ~James G

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  6. Really enjoyed the dry humor of oldschool men! I too grew up in the McQueen era, still the coolest of the crew…..
    And “Fuck” if they don’t like the word, leave the BAR…

    Wil in Cebu….

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  7. I think drinking beer, and chewing tobacco should be added to the list.

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  8. It may not be very Old School Man’y but Guinness is a man’s drink even though it is from Europe. It is also drunk from a glass. Therefore, I call exception to the rule for Guinness.

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  9. Guinness is an Old School Man drink from way back

    ~James G

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  10. I love these Old School man articles. I couldn’t agree more! I am a firm believer! One thing I think that is missing is carrying a nice pen.

    I hate it when I see a guy who has that gay emo fringe and the worlds skinniest jeans, sometimes you cant even tell its a guy!!! This guy assaulted this lady in a busy place, guess what! No one helped her! I was in the area about 10 minutes later and got the story, this guy chased her and smacked her around, then ran away. I couldn’t believe no one helped her.

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  11. Beer out the bottle is the way to drink, or its a woman drinking it.

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  12. I don’t think 1 Liter beer mugs are in any way a woman’s drink. But taking more than 5 or 6 drinks to finish it makes the holder a skirt.
    Now a day “guys” admit to having a “man crush”.(as I puke in my mouth, and gag it back down) I think Old School Man would say” I’d be honored to have Steve McQueen or Chuck Bronson kick my ass.

    And in the pics linked above. I love the boxing gloves. They remind me of growing up when we used socks and tape.

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  13. Just hooked into your site today, still reading all the articles.
    However, this one needed an added comment to all the others.

    As a woman, I also miss the “Old School Man”.

    Work hard, play hard.

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  14. My Wife says she is lucky to be married to a man of the old school, learned from my Pa.

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  15. Finally, a site worthy of old school. drink, smoke, and ride hard gents as the road toward hell is not smooth, but paved with the bones of useless fodder and laws of stupidity. There are however plenty of places to stop, drink, fuck, and if need be, kill…. All the best, fuck the rest….

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  16. I’d add a third time when it’s acceptable for an Old School Man to shed a tear: putting down your dog.

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  17. I will love you until the seas run dry and the rocks crumble.I was taking care of Sally.She is a composer for the harp.Is that why you don’t want to go home?How’s everything? The doctor is taking my blood pressure.The doctor is taking my blood pressure.You need to workout.I heard some one laughing.Every man is fool sometimes, but none at all times.

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