TACTICAL GEAR: If I Hear One More Person Talk About How F-ING Great MultiCam is I am Going to Kick a Kitten in the Head

Man I can’t wait until my Chinese knock-off Crye Precision MultiCam gets here, the other guys in my “Unit” will be so jealous of me on our next “Op”

It seems like every other day I see a mil or tactical blog talking about how awesome MultiCam is. I swear I will smash a baby seal in the head with a baseball bat if I read “the Army is adopting MultiCam”, “Rangers use MultiCam” or “I want to suck-off MultiCam” again.

Seriously who gives a shit, like this is big news in the military community anyway, the US Military changes Cammo patterns more often than I change the oil in my car. That’s why we here at DVM have never posted a picture of some Army unit who had their picture taken in a fake-ass posed action photo shoot wile wearing MultiCam.

James G. after reading another article about MultiCam

Another thing about MultiCam that annoys me, like less that 1% of military soldiers will ever be in a combat situation where they need cammo to conceal themselves from the enemy. So why is the military considering the most expensive cammo pattern available that they will surely issue to every Joe?

How much do you want to bet we will see thousands of fobbits wearing MultiCam on bases throughout Iraq and Afghanistan wile combat Marines and Army Infantry guys will still be stuck wearing UCP ACUs?

I would rather the military go back to spending 500 dollars on toilet seats than spend 300 bucks on a pair of MultiCam ACUs. At least I can use the toilet seat for something productive.

I would rather go into combat naked than wear MultiCam.

MultiCam is the Rainbow flag of the Tactical Community

*NOTE: Wile looking for pictures for this article I Googled “naked combat”, do not make the same mistake; I had to wash out my eyes with bleach and kerosene.

Read All TACTICAL GEAR or All Articles By JAMES G.

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~James G
Founder – Editor in Chief

James G is a Veteran Civilian Contractor who has worked in the Middle East and Southeast Asia for way too long. He spends his off time in Indonesia and Virginia getting drunk, shooting guns, writing poorly written articles and being traumatized by Google images.

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59 thoughts on “TACTICAL GEAR: If I Hear One More Person Talk About How F-ING Great MultiCam is I am Going to Kick a Kitten in the Head”

  1. I know the Fat Airsoft Guy Picture is a bit played out but it makes me happy every time I see it

    ~James G

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  2. Now thats some funny shit.

    Thanks.

    JTG

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  3. Even my buddy GB hates the very mention of MultiCam, look what happened when I told him about this article

    ~James G

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  4. A guy on Facebook told me he was thinking about doing an image search on Google for “Naked Combat” just out of curiosity – DON’T DO IT!

    ~James G.

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  5. Multicam is a good pattern, but what about when our troops have to get a new uniform? Is the uniform allotment going to go up to match the cost?

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  6. I am not mil so I don’t know how the military figures out how much they pay for uniform allowances. But I wouldn’t count on it.

    When I was on a contractor gig in Iraq where we were issued ACUs we got like .40c a day to keep my uniforms maintained. I don’t like wearing ACUs so I just wore civies and used the money for booze – but it would have taken a long damn time to build up enough to buy a new pair from 40c a day

    ~James G

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    1. I saw on the online Army Times that the uniform allowance was going up. But, it had to do with the troops having trouble keeping the Velcro clean, it being a crud magnet and all. Also, there was something in the article about the Velcro being phased out. It’s cheaper ( THERE’S the reason ) , it’s easy to replace, and it holds a heavy load better. What’s the replacement, you ask? Why, buttons. Boy, there’s a real high-tech product. We used buttons on our fatigues in boot camp. And that was 1979.

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  7. I had this awesome idea awhile back…

    Maybe they could have, like, both a desert pattern AND a woodland pattern. Seperately, instead of fielding one mediocre pattern. Can’t beleive nobody has thought of that…

    (Long live MARPAT!)

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  8. That would make sense therefore it will not be considered

    ~James G

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  9. What they need is:

    1. A simple OD or khaki garrison uniform for everyone who is not going outside the wire. For FOBbits, REMF and they like. They don’t need camo so why pay the fabric cost so that some desk jockey at the Pentagon can wear a camo uniform? This is 90% of the military.

    2. For the 10% that go outside the wire, issue specialized camo as needed for the combat theatre:
    A. Desert
    B. Woodland
    C. Jungle
    D. Arctic

    3. Multicam would be a good camo for flightsuits for aircrews operating over enemy territory. Getting shot down is unlikely, but in the event that they are and survive, MultiCam is probably a good generic SERE option — but again only for those in combat aircraft. Guys flying supplies wouldn’t need camo flightsuits.

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  10. I like multicam because it’s harder for douchebags with sniper rifles and binos to see you at a distance. Also when on patrol it might be harder for douchebags to see you or judge where exactly you are when they’re trying to set off an remote det ied or mine.

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  11. I have no argument when it comes to MultiCam’s effectiveness – I am just tired of hearing about it like Jesus himself sewed it up

    ~James G

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  12. Multicam effectiveness..? The second greatest story ever told. It’s up there with the carpenter who didn’t pre-book a hotel room.

    If you’ve seen the study MC comes significantly better than UCP in seven of nine categories….that’s hardly an endorsement. Unfortunately MC fever has spread to this side of the pond (UK). Son of MC has been adopted by UK MoD. Basically the old woodland pattern with MC colours. The MoD did a great product launch – 3 blokes (in desert, woodland & MTP) standing against bright green foliage…suddenly the old woodland camo looks quite good..

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8422942.stm

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  13. Woodland rocks.

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  14. Even on the fat guy.

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  15. Stevie:

    When I said “MultiCam Effectiveness” I was referring to it being better than UCP, sorry if I didn’t make that more clear.

    But like I said – God himself did not knit MultiCam, lol

    Glad to see another critic of MultiCame Stevie

    Thomas L:

    I actually wore Woodland in Columbia back in the 90s, I think it is a great pattern especially for North & South America that has been overlooked because (like you said) fat guys wear it to church

    ~James G

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  16. This makes WAY too much sense for our military to adopt such an approach.

    What they need is:1. A simple OD or khaki garrison uniform for everyone who is not going outside the wire. For FOBbits, REMF and they like. They don’t need camo so why pay the fabric cost so that some desk jockey at the Pentagon can wear a camo uniform? This is 90% of the military.2. For the 10% that go outside the wire, issue specialized camo as needed for the combat theatre:
    A. Desert
    B. Woodland
    C. Jungle
    D. Arctic3. Multicam would be a good camo for flightsuits for aircrews operating over enemy territory. Getting shot down is unlikely, but in the event that they are and survive, MultiCam is probably a good generic SERE option — but again only for those in combat aircraft. Guys flying supplies wouldn’t need camo flightsuits.  

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  17. You’re going to kick a kitten James if I speak the truth, and say MultiCam is freaking awesome? Well guess what, it is the end all solution to our camo needs!!!

    Oh snap! It’s on like Donkey Kong!

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  18. For a guy who doesn’t have to suffer from military brass making kick-back deals, you sure do cry alot about an issue that hardly affects you and the wild west scene.

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  19. Correct me if I’m wrong but with all the shit our troops wear and the big black guns we hold on to, why dont we just issue OD green and tan or coyote uniforms? At the very least issue that to all the POGs. Were spending millions on camo.Look at the Navy blue digital. Is anyone going to seriously argue that the digital blue pattern is that much better than straight blue?

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  20. You’re going to kick a kitten James if I speak the truth, and say MultiCam is freaking awesome? Well guess what, it is the end all solution to our camo needs!!!Oh snap! It’s on like Donkey Kong!  (Quote This Comment)

    This cats blood is on your hands man

    For a guy who doesn’t have to suffer from military brass making kick-back deals, you sure do cry alot about an issue that hardly affects you and the wild west scene.  (Quote This Comment)

    Hey Bryan I think you may have sort of missed the sprit of the article brother, I was mostly complaining about having to read (on every mil and gear blog) about the god-like worship of MultiCam

    And the military choosing the most expensive cammo that is one the market means I pay for it out of my tax dollars. The whole unnecessarily equipping soldiers with cammo has been a pet peeve of mine for a wile.

    And on my last contract I was issued ACUs that I was forced to wear several times a month, so choosing MultiCam dose directly effect me cuz when I go back to Iraq and they issue it I will now have to fight naked – lol

    Correct me if I’m wrong but with all the shit our troops wear and the big black guns we hold on to, why dont we just issue OD green and tan or coyote uniforms? At the very least issue that to all the POGs. Were spending millions on camo.Look at the Navy blue digital. Is anyone going to seriously argue that the digital blue pattern is that much better than straight blue?  (Quote This Comment)

    My point exactly – that’s what a few military’s already do

    But as many have stated above, that makes sense therefore it will not be considered

    Thanks for your comments guys, great discussion and ideas about the MultiCam issue

    ~James G

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  21. You still bitch just to bitch. Soldiers who cited the advantages of Multicam versus the severe disadvantages of UCP had a legit gripe. I see you…bang you’re dead. Believe it or not, there are a good number of soldiers in the Army and Marines that do rely on the performance of the uniform they where, be it desert digital, multicam, OD, khaki…whatever. Just don’t dress me in digital confederate grey and send me to fight in guerilla warfare (it doesn’t make since).

    Jaymes I did not miss the point of the article, you and the US Army acquisitions office missed the fact that our soldiers, who risk their lives for you, the taxpayer, want shit that will help preserve their lives and bring them home to their families after the conflict ends. For all of those who believe that camouflage does not matter, check your compass. It may have been a while since you were last shot at.

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    1. BS.
      Who gives a crap what camo you are wearing when you roll down the road in an MRAP? Dudes spend more money& time on faggot ass gear than they do on working out or shooting as well as their rifle is capable of.

      Honestly, put on a LCE with suspenders some canteens and a few mag pouches. We have gone waaaaayyyyy overboard on the gear bs.

      GI Barbies is what it is.

      Faggots.

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  22. You still bitch just to bitch..  (Quote This Comment)

    B.I.N.G.O – Bitching just to bitch was the point of the article dude hence the cat in the blender thing

    Soldiers who cited the advantages of Multicam versus the severe disadvantages of UCP had a legit gripe. I see you…bang you’re dead. Believe it or not, there are a good number of soldiers in the Army and Marines that do rely on the performance of the uniform they where, be it desert digital, multicam, OD, khaki…whatever. Just don’t dress me in digital confederate grey and send me to fight in guerilla warfare (it doesn’t make since). Jaymes I did not miss the point of the article, you and the US Army acquisitions office missed the fact that our soldiers, who risk their lives for you, the taxpayer, want shit that will help preserve their lives and bring them home to their families after the conflict ends. For all of those who believe that camouflage does not matter, check your compass. It may have been a while since you were last shot at.  (Quote This Comment)

    As I noted I don’t argue the effectiveness of MultiCam for people who need it – But I see no need to buy it for the Soldier signing people in at the gym or working at the PX

    I also pointed out that the way I have seen things work in the military I am willing to bet that the first batch of MultiCam that is issued will go to people that don’t need it, wile the ones that do need it wont see it until every officer gets a crispy new pair first

    If you read the above you can see that I have already agreed with you and the point of the article was BLOGS writing about MultiCam and this article was in jest.

    Relax dude – we are all friends here

    ~James G

    P.S. I still think MultiCam is gay

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  23. I love Multicam, simply because it looks cool, but I can’t stop laughing how true your comments are…

    Okay, we’ll wear my Crye jacket for shopping for some take-out Sushi now… Wuahahahaha!

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    1. Dont forget the Maxpedition versipack

      ~James G

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  24. What is multicam and does it make you invisible?

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    1. Yes – it makes you invisible to other Airsoft players

      ~James G

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  25. What is multicam and does it make you invisible?  (Quote This Comment)

    Multicam is a special kind of camouflage that does make you invisible. It’s so good at making you invisible, that I suggest you put on a set of multicam BDU’s and not take a weapon because you can simply be all ninja an snap someone’s neck. Try it out in North Korea and kill us a few commies! Heck, the multicam is so good that the landmines in the DMZ won’t pick you up.

    This cats blood is on your hands man

    James, that’s a seriously messed up photo. Pamela Anderson would be ashamed of you!

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  26. I can’t agree with you more. I am so tired of the whole uniform debate. You’re right, the first guys to get the new Multicam uniforms are going to be the REMFs, while the real fighters are going to still be wearing the same old ACUs. It seems like the Army is spending more time and money trying to get a half-way decent uniform than they are trying to fight and win in A-stan. I still think the best uniform I ever wore in the Army was the old OG-107 Jungle Fatigues. The Army should just issue those again with a can of spray paint in the predominant color of the AO and let Joe make his own camo pattern.

    Keep up the great work!

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  27. OG-107s! Man, I agree, I loved those things, and 20 years later one shirt still survives! One day in the bush and you would have enough stains to give you a multi-hue look in whatever colors were present in that AO.

    If we are going to give camo to the REMFs, give them woodland. If we are just camoing up to be “beautiful soldiers”, I suggest the Russian OMON blue/grey tiger stripes. SO chic! And no one could find you if you hid in a glass of Bombay Sapphire on the rocks!

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  28. What they need is:1. A simple OD or khaki garrison uniform for everyone who is not going outside the wire. For FOBbits, REMF and they like. They don’t need camo so why pay the fabric cost so that some desk jockey at the Pentagon can wear a camo uniform? This is 90% of the military.2. For the 10% that go outside the wire, issue specialized camo as needed for the combat theatre:A. DesertB. WoodlandC. JungleD. Arctic3. Multicam would be a good camo for flightsuits for aircrews operating over enemy territory. Getting shot down is unlikely, but in the event that they are and survive, MultiCam is probably a good generic SERE option — but again only for those in combat aircraft. Guys flying supplies wouldn’t need camo flightsuits.

    Quoted that above… Meant to add: In other words turn the clock back to the 1970s and before when everyone wore a green fatigue unform with cap and black boots. Only the COOL GUYS got to wear camo ERDLs and green Jungles, etc., and berets. Which is why a lot of guys decided they wanted to be “elite” … Made sense until some idiots decided everyone would look cool in camo and then Shinseki decided everyone would be “elite” in a beret.

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  29. And that the way it should be now, there is no need to issue expensive rip-stop cammo to the guy that signs people in at the gym in Montana

    ~James G

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  30. And that the way it should be now, there is no need to issue expensive rip-stop cammo to the guy that signs people in at the gym in Montana ~James G  (Quote This Comment)

    Actually there are four reasons I can think of why it should stay the same: Budget justification, job justification, getting jobs for your local community as a Congressman, and getting kickbacks as a Congressman.

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  31. I stand corrected – lol

    ~James G

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  32. I still think the best uniform I ever wore in the Army was the old OG-107 Jungle Fatigues. The Army should just issue those again with a can of spray paint in the predominant color of the AO and let Joe make his own camo pattern.Keep up the great work!  

    I still think the best uniform I ever wore in the Army was the old OG-107 Jungle Fatigues. The Army should just issue those again with a can of spray paint in the predominant color of the AO and let Joe make his own camo pattern

    We used this for field uniforms back in the day-worked great. The whole BDU concept was “disposable” from the beginning, so a solid uniform, one or two colors of Krylon and a little training seemed like the way to go…

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  33. Multicam. Realtree. Mossy Oak. Advantage. All various camo patterns the owner has marketed to make the bucks.

    None of them are the best camo. There’s not a man in any multi-purpose camo that can blend in as well as an Elk in the Colorado mountains.

    Proper concealment requires a lot more than a fabric pattern. LOL!

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  34. Quoted that above… Meant to add: In other words turn the clock back to the 1970s and before when everyone wore a green fatigue unform with cap and black boots. Only the COOL GUYS got to wear camo ERDLs and green Jungles, etc., and berets. Which is why a lot of guys decided they wanted to be “elite” … Made sense until some idiots decided everyone would look cool in camo and then Shinseki decided everyone would be “elite” in a beret.  

    I agree, giving all the elite status when most wear their berets with a french artist style is now laughable! Krylon and an OD canvas OG107 would be more fitting for the impressionist soldier!

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  35. One question, if only the infantry get the needed uniforms for combat purposes, how will all the logistics soldiers and cooks take cool pictures in the ASP to send home to their girlfriends (that are probably cheating on them with grunts)

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  36. AAWWW CRAP! I just HAD to Google “Naked Combat”…it’s just not right…

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  37. So a Multicam Versipack just screams tacti-gay bag?

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  38. So a Multicam Versipack just screams tacti-gay bag?  (Quote This Comment)

    Is your gaydar down, or have you not come out yet closet queen? Are you a packer? The again, Ricnocerous is the one looking up Naked Combat on Google.

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  39. This MC debate is going to run and run.

    From my perspective, I’ve yet to hear of any front line fighters being injured or flat packed because they were wearing one camouflage and not another.

    However, there are plenty that have been killed or maimed with IED’s and doing shit patrol tasks and there isn’t any camouflage in the world going to protect you from that.

    The adoption of MC and its derivatives is a low cost (in RDEC terms) band aid to allow politicians to say they are doing SOMETHING to support an increasingly difficult battle.

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  40. Considering some of the things that Pamela Anderson is known to have done, she really doesn’t have a lot of shame left to hand out…..

    Multicam is a special kind of camouflage that does make you invisible.It’s so good at making you invisible, that I suggest you put on a set of multicam BDU’s and not take a weapon because you can simply be all ninja an snap someone’s neck.Try it out in North Korea and kill us a few commies!Heck, the multicam is so good that the landmines in the DMZ won’t pick you up.
    James, that’s a seriously messed up photo.Pamela Anderson would be ashamed of you!  

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    1. Actually shame has a medical term, it’s called S.T.D’s / S.T.I’s. So you’re actually wrong, she does have a lot of shame to hand out.

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  41. I know, it seems everybody loves Multicam, or camouflage for that matter. I’ve started moving away from that and wearing just olive drab or khaki. Not only will people ignore you when you walk down the street, but you don’t look like a complete asshat. I kind of prefer the old safari look instead. And let’s not forget that the Israelis don’t use fancy camouflage, I think they just use olive drab uniforms. I think they do this because they are more concerned with avoiding friendly fire incidents than trying to hide. Don’t know how effective camouflage really is in the field, but I’m sure some old infantry people can tell us.

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  42. I hated Multicam from Day 1 because it was overhyped from the start and all the wrong people liked it.

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  43. What about multicam tactical hats? Are those kewl?

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  44. Lee Enfield makes you SMILE

    Multicam makes you CRYE

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  45. We wear this stupid ACU pattern at my job. We want multicam because the ARMY hasn’t issued it yet. Being near an army base, I am tired of getting stopped by every other private and told to tuck in my pants and not to wear my ballcap. You would think my hair and general disregard for army uniform standards would give it away. If that diddn’t work then the huge ass Eagle Globe and Anchor tattoo on my forearm would do the trick.

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    1. Multicam is the best pattern I’ve seen for Central Texas and I think it is worth every penny!

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  46. I love the comments on this thread. My first time in Astan we had guys on our crew who were so worried about having the “right color” gear. After three weeks in the dirt we could not tell the black from the tan from the OD. It all looked a shitty color of brown and suprise suprise….it blended in great. Stay safe out there!

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  47. Multicam is a special kind of camouflage that does make you invisible.It’s so good at making you invisible, that I suggest you put on a set of multicam BDU’s and not take a weapon because you can simply be all ninja an snap someone’s neck.Try it out in North Korea and kill us a few commies!Heck, the multicam is so good that the landmines in the DMZ won’t pick you up.

    James, that’s a seriously messed up photo.Pamela Anderson would be ashamed of you!

    HEY GUY.
    Kim Jong Il’s death is on your hands. Can I get a hi-five?

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  48. lol This article is awesome. I tend to agree with James. Unless you’re a pilot or someone actually going outside the wire, there is absolutely no freakin need for camo.

    That said, the gACU needed to go. I’m not sure what it was supposed to blend in with, but I know for a fact, I’ve never seen anything that it would.

    Is it bad that I’m perfectly ok with the old 3 color Desert camo?

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    1. I’ve seen gACUs blend in better than new MC…when they’re filthy. Dirty, muddy, dusty, etc. ACUs are the only good looking ACUs.

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  49. Camoflauge does nothing on 99% of the people it is issued to, including most infantry units. Any blak mission requires minimal camo, becaue duh, the guys that may actualy need good camo, well they usualy get their own any ways. I do like a-tacs and the old woodland, but I loathe multi-cam and all but like two digital patterns, one being the 5.11 woodland digital for use in the desert.

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  50. Google “satire” before making anymore comments – It is making my assistants fingers numb deleting all the dumb ass comments

    ~James G

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  51. ‘Kay… I come from a place where pixlated camouflage patterns were invented – to wit: CADPAT(Canadian Digital Pattern) Temperate Region and CADPAT Arid Region. I’ve crossed trained with British forces(who call’s their flavour of Multicam – “OCP”) and with American forces(also recent adoptee’s of Crye’s Multicam). Without wanting to deride or disparage British or American forces unduly – bottom line – Multicam is raging gay. I mean, HELL! Damn stuff looks like some totally fuct up Smurf blew big chunks everywhere. Yup. Definitely GAY!!! Wouldn’t go near the shit with twenty foot barge pole. Now…CADPAT isn’t all that much better but it is decidedly not gay and it does work. And while they are extrapolations of CADPAT, I’m also a big fan(cuz it works!) of AOR1 & AOR2(Pre-NWU Type III) and of both patterns of MARPAT. Pixelated camouflage just works….

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  52. |As everyone may know; the U.S. Military is presently testing a series of new camouflage to replace the ‘highly esteemed’ UCP(Universal Camouflage Pattern)…
    The camouflage pattern that’s garnering the most interest? It’s a pixelated camouflage pattern called US4CES(pronounced “U.S. Forces”). One of the company’s involved in these tests is called HyperStealth. Guy Cramer(CEO of HyperStealth) has just written a fairly interesting article called “Why Not Just Use MARPAT”? http://www.hyperstealth.com/coyote/ It’s a three part article and while Mister Cramer doesn’t come right out and say-so – he pretty much confirms what a lot of folks are saying – Multi-Cam doesn’t work. But hey! Looks like a lot of people world-wide, are drink’n the Crye Precision MultiCam kool-aid and loving it. Still say Multicam looks like a Smurf threw up everywhere….

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