H2H FIGHTING: The Sucker Punch

The sucker punch has no political affiliation

The Sucker Punch surely has to be one of the oldest H2H fighting moves, I can just imagine a cave man pointing over the shoulder of another cave man and yelling “Tyrannosaurus Rex” then clocking him over the head with a club.

Out of all the H2H fighting techniques this is also one of my favorites and most used, it is also funny and makes me laugh every time I use it. Now you may be thinking “no way I would fall for that” – Ha! I can pretty much guarantee that you will, it is an uncontrollable reaction to look when someone yells and points over your shoulder.

You may not totally turn around, but you will surely take a peek, and that’s when I kick you in the nuts 48 times.

How to Properly Sucker Punch Someone:

- Get close enough to strike your adversary, but not too close
- Think of something to say (see list below) like “Godzilla”
- Suddenly point over your adversaries shoulder and scream it
- Punch him in the face
- Kick him in the balls
- Kick him in the balls
- Kick him in the balls

The hardest part of the Sucker Punch is thinking of something that will not only make your adversary turn around, but is also funny enough so when you tell your friends about it later you can all have a good laugh.

Sucker Punch Distraction Words:

Just point over the shoulder of your sucker and yell one of the following…

- Superman!!!
- Jesus!!!
- Hamburger!!!
- Moose!!!
- Zoiks!!!
- Book!!!

Out of all of the words above yelling “Superman” seems to be the most effective at distraction for some unknown reason. Why a grown man who was getting ready to fight me would turn around because they thought Superman was behind him escapes me.

But putting aside the humor aspect of this article for a second, the Sucker Punch is actually an effective preemptive fighting technique.

If you are in a situation where you believe violence is imminent and attacking first to defend yourself is the best way to survive, then the Sucker Punch is a good option. So don’t disregard the Sucker Punch as just a gag or something only bar-room brawlers do.

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~James G
Founder – Editor in Chief

James G is a Veteran Civilian Contractor who has worked in the Middle East and Southeast Asia for way too long. He spends his off time in Indonesia and Virginia getting drunk, shooting guns, writing poorly written articles and sucker punching fools.

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20 thoughts on “H2H FIGHTING: The Sucker Punch”

  1. Hamburglar!

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  2. I would also propose variations on the whole “your shoes are untied”. Such as “your cell phone is ringing”. You would be amazed at the people that will drop their hands to check their pockets, even whilst in training. Or “COPS!” would also work well. You would have to instead of pointing if you are squared off against your adversary you would have to drop your hands quickly.

    “Why a grown man who was getting ready to fight me would turn around because they thought Superman was behind him escapes me”

    I would say the effects of adrenaline. Especially with regards to hyperfocus, as the adrenaline in your adversary increases his vision narrows, his focus lies predominately on you. But when you introduce a novel stimuli such as you pointing and saying something it is instinctual for most to turn and look.

    It won’t work against all mind you, the sucker punch will only work against some people. So always have a backup plan in case you do that and they either don’t move an inch or they use your distraction on yourself.

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  3. Yelling “boobies” works too.

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  4. Lmao. Obama looks like he’s actually going to hit McCain in this picture. Too bad its not the other way around.

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  5. James, I would pay good money to see you yell “Godzilla” with an atrocious Japanese movie accent and then pop some douche’ ,,,, LOL

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    1. No problem man, when we meet up I will Sucker Punch some random guy on the street with the Godzilla thing just for you – lol

      ~James G

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  6. I am a firm believer in the motto(stated by a god friend of mine) “IF I GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE WE ALL GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE”,if i get hit, when i get up if you havent been hit,your about to. so might as well jump in early. a sucker punch by a 3rd party is the best sucker punch that can be thrown..

    when i was younger going out with friends. i would get to antsy watching 2 guys argue building up the courage to throw the first punch, if i seen its going to escalate im throwing the first punch even if he is not arguing with me, my logic is if i can drop the guy my friend is arguing with then he is out of the picture and me and my buddy can turn our attention on his friends if need be,hopefully bettering the odds..plus there is something really gratifying about laying into something standing still instead of all that pesky bobbing and weaving tom foolery…

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  7. Yep, I also use the Sucker Punch if there is more than one guy so I can make the playing field a bit more even

    ~James G

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  8. I like sucker punches alright but I rather prefer forearm blows to the side of the neck. They’re fairly effective IMHO: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-J2D5rEC_Q

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  9. The actual strike after you yell and point “Googin-Himer!!!” is up to you, I like the hook right to the temple or the Kick in the Nuts

    ~James G

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  10. 1. In the photo, actually, they man on the left is demonstrating his left-handed masturbation technique; the laughing guy on the right has just commented, “Shame you didn’t do that instead of having kids!”

    2. You must beware the ‘counter sucker punch’; in which you say, “Hey, look! She’s NEKKID!” And by the time you say, “she’s…” the other guy instantly throws an elbow into your nose!

    3. My preference to ‘sucker punch’ is called ‘center punch’ and is done from 400 yards out :o)

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  11. Fellows,
    Y’all are killing me!

    But it’s a very good point, and one that we who are “honorable,” tend to forget. I’ve been sucker punched more times than I have gotten the first shot in, especially in my youth. But as I have grown older, I tend to short circuit the incipient altercation with the muzzle of my 1911. If, as you said, you know the SWHT fan, then open up with all you have; use overwhelming force and make short work of it.

    As always, very good stuff!

    Thanks,
    Albert

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  12. The only “Fair Fight” is the one you walk away from victorious

    ~James G

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  13. I always preferred the “Throw something with left hand, follow up with right fist” technique. I have used it twice in one day on the same person.

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  14. I always preferred the “Throw something with left hand, follow up with right fist” technique.I have used it twice in one day on the same person.  

    smokers have this advantage,i cant tell you how many times i plucked my cigarette at some douche face or made a awesome star burst on their chest.when they are floundering around slapping at the sparks its time to swing away..

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  15. Someone tried that one me once, and i kicked him in the penis and then turned only to be extra angry when i turned around and clobbered him. Excellent article; every one under estimates a kick to the groin.

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  16. Well, in reference to your article about the sucker punch, here is my recent experience with a variation known as the “betrayal five.” (I think its a hilarious story, but some might be totally appalled.) For reference, a betrayal five is when you go for the high five, say “betrayal five,” then betray the other person by karate chopping them in the neck. Usually, this is done playfully. Its been on my top 10 things to do before I die to betrayal five someone for real.

    About three weeks ago I was in Prague as part of my post-grad, super-cliche euro trip. On our first night in Prague, I’m out at 3AM with this random guy Polish Paul, who’s pretty much the personification of every Polish joke I’ve ever heard. Were walking along, and this rail thin, used up hussy walks up to him, and starts soliciting him for sex, and really going for the hard sell too, lots of rubbing on his ass and crotch ect. Well, true to Polish tradition, Paul is actually into this girl! And I’m like Paul, your tripping dog, this broad is like 40 years old and clearly on some other shit entirely. Well, she comes up to me and says “what, are you gay?” then really aggressively grabs my ass and lower crotch. I push her away, and drag Polish Paul out of there. 5 minutes later, I reach into my pocket, and discover that her crotch grab was actually an elaborate rouse, and that she’s stolen 400 crowns (about $20) out of my pocket. So betrayed!

    Well, one good turn deserves another. Two nights later, my best friend and I are walking home at 5am, and were talking about what we want to accomplish on the rest of the trip, and I mention “I would really like to work in a betrayal five somewhere on this trip.” My amigo admonishes me about how impractical that would be. Secretly, I have the pickpocket in mind, but don’t mention this. And then, not 2 minutes later, there she is, approaching with a clique of shady looking guys.

    She makes eye contact with us, and starts approaching us, asking if we have a cigarette- clearly she doesn’t remember me. I walk up, all smiles, and say “hey!” while making the high five motion. She pauses for a half second, then goes for the high five as well….and I proceed to karate chop her in the neck at about full on pimp slap level of force. So satisfying! Then I yelled at her about stealing my money, and she and her clique ran off scared. Clearly a case of Karma by Karate chop. The look on her and my friend’s face was priceless.

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    1. Ha – now that is a funny story – lol

      ~James G

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  17. Distraction my ass.
    If you’re sure an altercation is imminent; a left jab to the nose, a kick or a knee in the balls and a shin or foot kick to the side of the knee.
    If the guy’s not on the floor by now you’re in trouble.

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