TACTICAL TRAINING: If You Are Fat You Are Not a Warrior – And the “DVM From Fat Body to Not So Fat Body Diet”

I eat Twinkies for breakfast but I still think I am a warrior

Every time I see some fat ass at a training class, online, in uniform or working as a contractor I want to walk up to him and yell “STOP EATING”

The most annoying ones are the fat bodies who claim to be some sort of “bad-ass” or even worse – are actually working or teaching in a warrior related profession. And its not just the fact these guys are disgusting blobs of blubber, it’s the shitty tough guy attitude that just about every fat “warrior” has.

I remember a few years ago a buddy of mine asked me to take a knife fighting seminar with him because he paid for his wife to go and she backed out at the last minute. I figured “why not, its free” so after driving for 4 hours, paying for a hotel room and giving up my entire weekend I walked into the class to see this dude with a big fat belly standing there.

Now, my buddy knows how I am so as soon as he saw me looking at Mr. Chubby Knife Guy he said “Dude, please don’t say anything, he is a bit chubby but he knows his shit. So I bit my tongue for the sake of my buddy and went along with the program, and honestly the training wasn’t that bad until he started talking about discipline and warrior mindset stuff.

At that point I couldn’t control myself anymore so I asked “if you are a disciplined warrior than why are you so overweight?” Damn, the expression on his face looked like I called his mother a whore or something.

Anyway he went off on a rant about how he wasn’t really fat, had muscle underneath and could still kick ass and take names and all sorts of other insecure stuff fat people say when you call them out for being a buffet rapist.

Fo reals, how am I supposed to take some guy teaching a tactical course seriously if he doesn’t even have the discipline to stop bringing his hand to his fat fucking mouth?

<Read this First>

First Off

I am not a dietitian or anything like that, the “DVM From Fat Body to Not So Fat Body Diet” is something that I put together with a buddy of mine (who is a certified dietitian) about 9 years ago to help out a friend that became disgustingly fat after a car accident.

Since then I have passed this on to other folks who didn’t want to look like Jabba the Hut anymore. It is a simple program that even someone with bacon on the brain could follow, don’t expect to slim down in two months with this diet, it will take all of a year before you wont look like a glad bag full of cottage cheese.

The DVM From Fat Body to Not So Fat Body Diet:

Eating

Before you eat your meal (breakfast, lunch or dinner) drink 2 cups of water and one serving of raw vegetables or fruit.

Wait 20 minutes, then eat half of your meal

Drink another glass of water

Wait 15 minutes, and then decide if you are still hungry.

If you are still hungry then eat half of what’s left and throw out the rest. But most likely you will feel full, if you feel full or close to full then don’t eat anymore.

Also eat your meals at the same time everyday if you can, and only 3 meals a day with no snacking in-between.

And never eat or drink the following things again:

- Soda
- Anything that comes in a plastic bag
- Anything that you can buy from a drive through

Exercise

Now every fat guy claims that he doesn’t have time to exercise, that’s just a bullshit excuse. Everyone has 30 minutes to spare everyday, period.

This is easy…

Walk around your neighborhood for 30 minutes everyday, when you stop sweating and gasping for air then walk faster, in a few months you will be up to jogging for 30 minutes everyday. Don’t push yourself, take your time to work up to running.

That’s it dude

In a year or so you wont be a fucking fat ass anymore. There are a bunch of great exercise (like crossfit) and diet (like Atkins) programs out there that are way better than this one.

But in my experience if a diet and exercise program has more than a few rules people will grow frustrated or bored with it within 4 months. This program is simple and basically only has 2 steps, even a monkey could follow this.

So in a year you will thank me when you are able to see your dick again.

—————————————————————————————

~James G
Founder – Editor in Chief

James G is a Veteran Civilian Contractor who has worked in the Middle East and Southeast Asia for way too long. He spends his off time in Indonesia and Virginia getting drunk, shooting guns, writing poorly written articles and making scenes in knife fighting classes.

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38 thoughts on “TACTICAL TRAINING: If You Are Fat You Are Not a Warrior – And the “DVM From Fat Body to Not So Fat Body Diet””

  1. What about those on the exact opposite of the scale?

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  2. Aaaaahhhh… I was on the “looks anorexic” side of the weight scale back in the day – I have a diet and work out program for “Hard Gainers” that put over 70 pounds of muscle on me in a year. I will make that another article for the Hard Gainers that read DVM

    ~James G

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  3. I am no means brad pit, i don’t have a six pack, but i don’t have a beer gut.. But there is always room for improvement.. You gotta get out, and be active.. 30min a day and do something like hike or do a long bike ride once a week if possiable..

    I can’t wait for you to do the, I can’t wear my body armor or have to cut the sleeves off my uniform cause my arms wont fit in them or hug my girlfreind or get out of the humvee/technical because i have no range of motion/dextarity.

    If he’s not sucking on Musle milk,sleeping, or on the job he’s in the gym.. YOU HAVE NO NECK!!

    I’m just hating.. I’d rather have a wall of muscle than a guy who has to side step the door to get thru it.

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  4. You are assuming I could see my dick before the beer gut

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  5. Several years ago, I weighed 412 pounds.

    Right now, I am around 290/300. I had gotten down to around 245 last May and started my ‘bulk’ phase. Increased the calories, decreased the cardio, increased weight lifting. That’s what got me up to the 300 mark. Now I’m back on the downswing again.

    let me explain how I did it.

    I increased the number of meals a day that I ate to 6.
    I decreased the calories a day that I ate to 1800-2000. high fiber, low fat/calorie.

    started with recumbant bike for 20 minutes a day, eventually led to regular bike for 45 minutes a day then to walking, then running. By the end I was running 15 miles a day.

    Worked out with pliometrics, weights and increased cardio regimen 4-7 days a week.

    I drank nothing that had calories in it, coffee was black (as it should be), tea was plain (as it should be), any soda I drank was usually diet dew. Ate from a ‘drive through’ at most once every couple weeks as my ‘cheat day’. For a while though, after eating healthier, I couldn’t eat fries or fried foods. I’d get sick from them.

    I dropped the weight like a rock. increased my lifting capacity and overall, had more energy and 100% increase in stamina.

    When I started I was on 2 different heart meds, cholesterol meds, high blod pressure meds, 6 in total.

    6 months after I started I was on NONE of them.

    A typical days food was;
    breakfast – oatmeal, eggs, fruit
    snack – yogurt (plain) and fruit
    lunch – chicken or (beef, fish, pork), whole wheat noodles or rice and veggies
    snack – protein shake
    dinner – chicken or (beef, fish, pork), whole wheat noodles or rice and veggies
    snack – yogurt, peanut butter or protein shake

    It took TONS of discipline, had almost no alcohol the entire two years it took me to get down that far and I’d die whenever we had a party or I attended a function. But let me tell you, I made such an improvement, my doctor didn’t even rag on me to quit smoking any more.

    Just a heads up for anyone out there that says eating after a certain time, or right before bed, etc won’t let you loose weight is full of shit. I’m living proof.

    Now all I have to do is re-apply my discipline to get BACK down to ‘fighting weight’ and I’ll be good to go.

    I’m NOT knocking the program that was listed above, but you do have to be careful what program you are on. I can say from experience with the Atkins diet it almost killed me. I was constantly eating on it, lost 30 pounds in 6 weeks, had more energy than ever before, was never hungry, but…when I went off of it, I gained twice the amount of weight back. Something that you have to remember is that a diet is something that you don’t just do and then stop it. It’s something that you have to totally change and change the dietary intake for life. it’s not a do it and done thing.

    I think EVERYONE can agree on that one.

    Overall though, great article. I agree with a lot of what was said about he warrior mindset and discipline because believe me, if I didn’t have the discipline, I’d still be that fat 400 pound pig.

    Another thing that you may want to keep in mind, as I did, I was seeing a doctor every month untill I hit around the 7th month. After that, It went to every 6 months for him to track my health. By the end my doctor was so taken aback by how much weight I lost, he was using me as an example to his other patients. You should have a doctor monitor your progress. If you’re making RADICAL changes to the diet and exercise routine, definitely every 3 months. If it’s just some minor changes, I’d say 6 month visits should be good unless you have issues.

    Good luck to anyone out there looking to lose weight and shape up.

    AGAIN, I’m NOT knocking the above mentioned plan, it’ll work for some people, but may not work for others. You really need to find what works and stick with it.

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  6. Buffet rapist: Classic.

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  7. Would this also be part of the maintenance program as well? Let’s say you are fairly happy with where you are. You don’t really have weight to lose but you also don’t wish to gain as well. Would this program also be used in this type of case as well?

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  8. Aaaaahhhh… I was on the “looks anorexic” side of the weight scale back in the day – I have a diet and work out program for “Hard Gainers” that put over 70 pounds of muscle on me in a year. I will make that another article for the Hard Gainers that read DVM~James G  (Quote This Comment)

    I would really appreciate an article of that nature. With my stick-like figure and lightning fast metabolism I would take any tips regarding gaining weight and putting on muscle.

    (Though I’ll admit it’s kinda nice to be so skinny that you don’t have to do anything to get a six-pack to show itself)

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  9. While I do agree with you on most of this I do have to say that I have seen some amazing fighters who are overweight.

    Back when I was doing straight boxing there was a guy with a big potbelly who’d work out with us sometimes.

    Even though we were in differing weight classes we had a bit of a “smoker” one time and he went the whole ten rounds and by the end of it I swear he wasn’t even breathing hard.

    Since I was smaller and he looked out of shape I thought that I could just dance around him while he got progressively more and more tired. It just didn’t happen.

    After that I learned never to judge a book by it’s cover.

    But for the most part fat people are just plain disgusting.

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    1. After that I learned never to judge a book by it’s cover.But for the most part fat people are just plain disgusting.  

      This is true, I have met a few chubby guys that are just oddly athletic. Can run the miles, lift the weights and then go and eat a double bacon cheeseburger with no problems.

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  10. I agree James. I can’t stand those types of guys either. I understand people have had training and can still throw down and all of that. But unless you are physically fit, you better do it really fast because if it lasts longer than 30 secs you are going to be huffing and puffing and your cardio system is going to take you out of the running(literally).

    I try to explain this to the cops I know that are seriously overweight. They just don’t get it that half the battle is your cardio system. It is why professional fighters focus on it so much. And sadly they are easy to beat. You just take their chubby selves to the ground and work them for a few and they are out of breath and can’t do anything. Goodness forbid they ever get in a chase. They would freaking have a heart attack.

    But I am with you James, I call the guys out that profess a creed or a way of life that their body clearly shows evidence to the contrary. It annoys the hell out of me. I am one of those guys that if I don’t spend a lot of time in the gym or working out that I will gain weight. It isn’t fun. But I as well as most of the people in our relative profession train like my freaking life depends on it. Mostly because it does.

    And to the guys that I have talked with that “don’t have time”. I call BS. No matter what hole of a country I have been in the one thing I have always been able to do is find a nice little place to jump rope, do push ups, maybe find something to do pull ups on, and do body weight squats and lunges. Also to any fitness regimen for anyone in this kind of work. Stretch. For crying out loud stretch. It is soo much better than rupturing a muscle or something worse.

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  11. I like that you mentioned Crossfit classes. I take part in these classes and it WILL get you results.

    It is pretty expensive, but if you are just getting started in exercise, or need an extra kick in the ass, then the cost will encourage you see it through and stay the course.

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  12. Buffet rapist: Classic

    Ha – I thought I would be the only one that found that funny, I should make a “buffet rapist” Morale Patch

    ~James G

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    1. DUDE, YOU SHOULD, I know just the person to give one of those too

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  13. LMAO, thanks for saying what needed to be said. Why is it that every fat guy thinks he is a complete bad ass (I actually know the answer, just saying).

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  14. I don’t know how you got a photo of me, but thanks for the wake up call. Time to hit the gym.

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  15. I’m not fat, its a protective coating for my rock-hard abs.

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  16. Dude, you are freakin hilarious. I applaud thee and goodnite.

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  17. “buffet rapist” = win

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  18. Fucking classic!

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  19. +1 to this post, and +2 to Norm’s post. I am a big fan of the 6 small meals diet… you never really get hungry and the fat sheds off. I have never been really overweight, but after 8 years of couch potato living (i’m no B.A. contractor or LE or anything, just a regular dude that enjoys this site), I got tired of not being in the kind of shape I should be in. A few things I have found that work very well for me:
    1) Rock climbing
    2) Power Yoga
    3) P90X (very corny, but you can do it any time and it works!)

    Thanks for a great site!

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  20. Great Article.

    I used to commute into NYC everyday and it sickened me to see how overweight the Port Authority guys were. I mean how long can they give chase before they run out of breath or keel over.

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  21. Great Article.I used to commute into NYC everyday and it sickened me to see how overweight the Port Authority guys were. I mean how long can they give chase before they run out of breath or keel over.  

    Not long, and many count on that.

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  22. Yes the 6 small meals a day thing is by far the best diet to loose weight – I didn’t add it or many of the other parts from better diets because (like I said at the bottom of the article) if a diet or fitness program has more than a few rules to follow people simply wont do it, or will only do it for a few months.

    I know crossfit is great, but I know about 30 people who were really into it and have lost interest now.

    But I never met anyone that quit jogging because it was tedious or a fad

    The same with so call diets, everyone I know who is trying to loose weight had quit their diet due to them being complicated, expensive or impossible to do wile deployed.

    The diet (if it can even been called that) I wrote up doesn’t require anything but a glass of water, bag of sliced carrots and a watch. It will make you eat less, add raw fruits, vegetables and water to your diet. Besides not eating Big Mac’s, Funyuns and drinking soda you can still eat whatever you want.

    This includes weight training and mass building programs, I have one that will bulk up naturally slim guys – but compared to real hard-gainer programs its not that great. But it is simple and people won’t quit unlike other programs that are so completed you need a 3-ring binder just to keep track.

    The fitness industry is just like the tactical industry – its all about the Benjamin’s. Just like the tactical companies won’t tell you a 40 dollar k-bar is just as good as a 200 dollar knife – the Fitness and Diet industry wont tell you drinking water and walking everyday will make you loose weight just like their 900 dollar program.

    But is basically up to the individual operator – is he more likely to stick with a program that requires a 300 page book to follow, or is he more likely to stick with a program that will fit on a coattail napkin?

    Personally I have never met an out of shape or overweight person who has stuck with a program for an entire year. But because mine is simple most chubbys will stick with it for longer than average.

    Also: great comments guys, very constructive and informative conversation – and glad you also found it funny.

    ~James G

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  23. Here’s a related article about fat kids and national security.
    http://www.everydaynodaysoff.com/2010/04/23/fat-kids-are-a-threat-to-national-security/

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  24. I’ve always been a bit overweight, but post-injury I hit obese, and am now working to get rid of it. I have to say, simple and gradual is doing everything I need it to, and simple, quick, exercise is what I can most easily fit into my day.(Read: 10 minute stair run/shin bruise exercise)

    As someone well outside an operational fitness standard, simple effective systems are a great assistance.

    Also, call people around you about their weight. I honestly didn’t realize how bad it was getting until a close friend called me on it.

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  25. Two weeks ago I told someone that if they got shot I was leaving them because I am physically incapable of carrying their fat ass.

    Thank you for writing this article.

    If I discriminate against anyone it is fat people. If I can’t trust you with the small things I can’t trust you with the big things.

    -Stan

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  26. I’d like to see the gaining muscle counterpart to this article because i cant seem to push past a gain of 15 lbs of muscle (i go from 165 lean, to 185 muscle and that’s all she wrote)

    Also +1 to the guy who said he’d be leaving someone to their own devices if they got shot just because he couldn’t move their fat ass.

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  27. I also find it interesting about some BTDT guys in the training industry(firearms in particular) who look like the last thing they assaulted was a 18 inch sub. I don’t care what they had done 30 years ago. I need to see that they are still a warrior. Not someone from a Jenny Craig advertisment. There…I said it.

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  28. Good story, great delivery and topic kept me laughing this morning about some of the guys I have worked with and myself occasionally.. Keep up the good work James love the mag. How are the shirts coming.

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  29. Back when I was doing straight boxing there was a guy with a big potbelly who’d work out with us sometimes.
    Even though we were in differing weight classes we had a bit of a “smoker” one time and he went the whole ten rounds and by the end of it I swear he wasn’t even breathing hard.

    That was me. 40# – 50# overweight and with no training, run 10 miles on the flats or out run an athelete in training 1/4 mile up a mountainside from a cold start. At 50yo, I literally out worked two 20 something workout fanatics doing heavy labor. Cold bench press more than my body weight, and max out the leg press weights. Hell I could bounce 700# off either foot.

    When I got laid up and could not work at all, I zoomed up to 246# and have absolutely no stamina or breath… Because I did not change my eating habits to match my physical output.

    Now I am wotking on my ambition to lose all that fat. It is sdo much easier for this crippled up old man to just surf the web. Bleh

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  30. dude, im a fat ass bastard, i got hit in a place called Mogadishu, Somalia in 1993. when i was 135 lbs i never was mean toward fat people. Mostly because I dont know their story. im up to 230 now, im less mobile now. you just throw a blank statement out there because someone is just to lazy or cant stop their hand to mouth action. I am still swimming 2 miles in the va pool every other day and do watch my diet. Thats enough about me, your just plain mean person. Hope to God that you never get yourself into a position were you are injured and can not move like you used to. It sucks, Im 40 years old now and you know that with age, things arent what they were when we were 20. I guess my last or closing sentance will be that I know everyone cant live up to your standards and your option is just that, yours. I almost feel sorry for you. God bless you.

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  31. john, whats your last name? did you leave Battalion as soon as you got back or did you stay around awhile. I was in Aco a few months after you guys got home.

    dude, im a fat ass bastard,i got hit in a place called Mogadishu, Somalia in 1993.when i was 135 lbs i never was mean toward fat people.Mostly because I dont know their story.im up to 230 now, im less mobile now.you just throw a blank statement out there because someone is just to lazy or cant stop their hand to mouth action.I am still swimming 2 miles in the va pool every other day and do watch my diet.Thats enough about me,your just plain mean person.Hope to God that you never get yourself into a position were you are injured and can not move like you used to.It sucks, Im 40 years old now and you know that with age, things arent what they were when we were 20.I guess my last or closing sentance will be that I know everyone cant live up to your standards and your option is just that, yours.I almost feel sorry for you.God bless you.

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