Category Archives: - URBAN SURVIVAL


The Post-Apocalyptic World Sucks Balls

“Sweet, I can’t wait until the SHTF and America is just like this Mumbai slum” – Said no one who has actually been to a Slum in Mumbai

“Sweet, I can’t wait until the SHTF and America is just like this Mumbai slum” – Said no one who has actually been to a Slum in Mumbai

Question: If you really want to live in the post-apocalyptic world then why don’t you just move to Pakistan?

Answer: Cuz It sucks balls there.

With 5000 “friends” on Facebook I see all sorts of “tough guy” nonsense flash across my news feed every day. Lately I’ve been seeing this “would you survive the post-apocalyptic world?” Q&A tests where you answer some mind-numbing multiple choice questions and, BAM, you can proclaim that you and Robert Neville will rule the wastelands.

This is of course followed by “Fuck Yeah bro, I’ll be shooting and looting in the post-apocalyptic world. It’s gonna’ be awesome” by whoever took this test. Next comes a legion of other people also saying something to the effect of “I can’t wait for this to happen” to “it is only a matter of time before it collapses and it can’t come sooner” in the comments below.

Now obviously this is just internet bravado that has spilled over from forums to Facebook, but there are quite a large amount of people in the tactical/prepper community that honestly believe there would be nothing better than to have the SHTF and the US plunge to some sort of Mad Max style post- apocalyptic wasteland. In fact, I am sure many of them are reading this right now as they relax during their post refractory period after jacking-it to Night of the Living Dead.

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URBAN SURVIVAL: 5 Things People Say They Can or Would do in a Survival Situation – and Why They Won’t Based on Recent 3rd World Urban Survival Events

“If you jump really high the waves will just go under you bro”

After decades of studying, observing, experiencing and writing about everything Urban Survival, I have heard some serious fantasy about what people claim they would do during an Urban Survival situation. Not surprisingly most of this so-called ‘advice’ comes from people who have never been in a Urban Survival, ‘Fight or Die’ situation or have even stepped outside of the continental US with the exception of Bus Tours in their lives.

Most of the crazy shit I have heard comes from fake tough-guys, dudes who regurgitate stuff they have read on forums and keyboard commandos that make Bear Grills’s advice look reasonable. Having spent the past 10+ living, traveling and working in the 3rd world, I have seen people (including myself) survive the worst possible situations and do what they had to do to either survive or die.

From my experience, the current 3rd world is what the 1st world would be like after a prolonged ‘event’. That may be a natural disaster, civil war, overwhelming violent crime, financial meltdown or pandemics. In my opinion, the best place to study what people will or will not do when the SHTF in the 1st world, is to study what people in the 3rd world have and are currently doing to survive day by day.

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BOOKS – Ditch Medicine: Advanced Field Procedures For Emergencies, by Hugh Coffee

This Book Blew Rmabo’s Mind!

Whether it’s a war zone or a civil disaster area, traumatic injuries often occur in remote, unsanitary locations. Coffee’s book explains advanced field procedures for small wound repair, care of the infected wound, IV therapy, pain control, amputations, treatment of burns, airway procedures and more.

Hugh Coffee is a professional paramedic with extensive experience administering emergency medicine in Third World and battlefield environments. Coffee’s experience in Third World and austere environment medical procedures include improvising medical equipment from available materials and performing disaster-medicine procedures under primitive conditions.

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TACTICAL GEAR: Helmets, Protect That Noggin

Pimp My Helmet Bitches

I see a lot of guys both off and online discussing the latest and greatest rigs, mag pouches, FAK’s, admin pouches and armor carriers that they just bought or have on their ‘tactical wish-list’. And all the stuff they have put together for their BOB’s, go-bags and Vehicle Emergency Kits.

But one thing I rarely see mentioned is helmets

Answer this – what do construction workers, military folks, skateboarders, rock climbers, motorcyclists, firefighters, Security Contractors and that ‘slow’ cousin of yours all have in common?

They all wear helmets

Why? – if you hit your head and get knocked the fuck out then guess what?

You can’t fight if you are taking a nap on the pavement.

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URBAN SURVIVAL: Buying Gold is Only for Mr-T and Warren Buffett

This is the only gold that you should be putting your hands on

Not a week goes by without someone sending me an email asking my opinion on buying Gold as an investment for the “impending 3rd world like economic collapse in the US” or various other financial scenarios.

I still can’t figure out why I have somehow become this bastion of financial advice on investing that all my friends go to when they are deciding on making some off-the-wall financial move.

I think it is a combination of the fact I have always had a job (a rare trait amongst my buddies), read allot of books (and even rarer trait amongst my buds) and in their minds my being an international contractor means I must be rolling in mountains of coin that I invest in exotic and shady ventures like the international Gorilla Hand Ashtray trade (in reality I blow it all on Booze, Easy Women and Bacon Cheeseburgers).

Generally the tinfoil-hat talk about the U.S. becoming a 3rd world wasteland like Somalia makes me immediately delete said message (anyone who thinks the U.S. could ever turn into a 3rd world like hell-hole has obviously never been to a 3rd world hell-hole) – but one of my buddies sent me the rare rational question about gold as an investment.

The Following is my response, unedited:

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URBAN SURVIVAL: Improvised Weapons – The DVD Shank

Jersey Shore season 1 DVD – Great for seeing how far society has fallen or shanking fools

NOTE: The following article is for educational and Entertainment purposes, do not attempt to follow any of the below information.

As someone who is constantly passing through countries for work and play where you can’t own weapons – figuring out how to make a lethal weapon MacGyver style is a must-have skill (especially in countries where anti-American attitudes or street crime is a threat).

Also – knowing a few improvised weapon tricks isn’t just something that is handy for when I am traveling internationally. When I am back in the U.S. hanging out with my buddies in “anti-firearm/knife/pepper-spray/harsh language” Washington D.C. I keep a few common objects on me that I can use as a ditch weapon.

But out of all the different types of improvised weapons the DVD or CD is my favorite Every Day Carry in restrictive 1st World places like D.C. – all you have to do is snap it in half and wrap a handkerchief or piece of paper around it and you have one nasty knife that will slice and dice better than a Ginsu.

Another advantage the broken DVD has is it’s easy to explain if a cop or someone asked me: “Why do you have a broken DVD in your pocket wrapped-up in a handkerchief?” My answer would be: “I accidentally broke it, so I wrapped it in a handkerchief so it wouldn’t get any more scratched up on the way home – hopefully I can ship it to one of those data recovery companies in the back of PC magazine”

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URBAN SURVIVAL: Concealed Carrying a Large Fixed Blade Knife Daily (the CRKT Hissatsu)

CRKT Hissatsu IWB Concealed

After working in Iraq for a couple of months and making the mistake of being competent and having a fairly polite personality as opposed to the shitty security contractor douchebagnus “I am a tough bearded guy” attitude I was placed on a tedious project (because I am “responsible” and know how to write) in an area where I would not be able to carry a firearm for a while.

This had nothing to do with the threat level; it had to do with some stupid political BS that I won’t get into here. Considering that would be on a base shared by Local Nationals with the constant threat of kidnapping I sure as shit was not going to walk around unarmed.

So I decided to go way old school and arm-up with a full sized fixed-blade knife as my primary weapon that I would conceal – with an Applegate-Fairbairn gerber Mini Covert clipped to my pocket as back-up. My original plan was to rig-up an ankle rig for my Short KA-BAR but on a PX run I saw the sexy looking CRKT Hissatsu hanging on a rack so I snatched one up.

Despite its rather long length it ended up being an excellent choice for concealing, mostly due to its Zytel Sheath that is unintentionally perfect for concealing. The Zytel Sheath has a removable Zytel belt clip that can be screwed on and off the sheath with a flat head screwdriver (I used my thumbnail) that can be attached to the holes and rails anywhere on the sheath.

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URBAN SURVIVAL: Lethal Force While Defending Yourself and Your Family – How I “C” my “A”

This is your family 20 months after you use deadly force to defend them

I am not a lawyer nor do I play one on the internet, read the following:

Nothing in this article constitutes, or is meant to constitute, advice of any kind. If you require advice in relation to any legal matter you should consult an appropriately qualified lawyer.

By reading past the line below you agree to the above, our Disclaimer and agree to hold harmless DVM and its authors. This article is for educational and entertainment purposes only.


So you are sitting in your basement playing Gears of War on Xbox live, your wife and kids are upstairs sleeping, it’s about 3:30 AM (your wife is one of the cool types who doesn’t complain about her husband’s gaming habit). Right in the middle of playing wave 20 on horde you hear glass breaking and your back door opening.

You go right into warrior mode; you grab your kit (body armor, rig, ect.) and your AR-15 and slowly start waking upstairs. You open the basement door, you click your surefire on and you find yourself staring at 2 guys wearing ski-masks and carrying pistols.

They take a step towards you and you zap em’, 2 in one guy and 6 in the other – see you in hell fuckers – your family is safe now, you did you job as protector of your family.

You pick up the phone, dial 911 and tell the operator you just “fucking blasted 2 mother-fuckers that were in your house”. The police show up and you tell them everything that happened while standing in your front yard calmly eating a sandwich in full kit while the local News 7 films the body’s being carted out.

Fast forward 20 months…

You are eight months into a 6 year prison sentence getting man raped every night by your cell-mate, your wife and kids are living in a spare bedroom in your elderly moms house, you are bankrupt from the legal bills and because the “victims” families have sued you for everything and won, your daughter has strep throat and your wife can’t afford to take her to the doctor so she suffers in pain.

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URBAN SURVIVAL: The Greyman – Crazy Cop Eyes

What are you looking at fool?

The Greyman isn’t just about dressing in a way to blend in (or to not draw attention to yourself as a “prepared person”) – it is also about your mannerisms.

Most cops, cons, spies, CO’s* and martial artists can spot a colleague almost instantly just by the way they carry themselves. But one of the most blaring “I am a cop/military/prepared person” physical indicators a person can have is what I call the “Cop Crazy Eyes”.

Here is a little field trip for you guys: Go to Applebee’s for lunch and get a seat close to and facing the front door. Now watch the eyes of everyone who enters – right when they enter you can spot the off-duty cops and experienced tactical/mil guys and gals less than a second after they walk in by their zig-zagging eyes scanning the room.

The “Cop Crazy Eyes” thing was not only pointed out to me by UC* cops – I have heard several ex-cons say the same thing about spotting plainclothes cops. So you sure as shit don’t want some guy fresh out of the joint to recognize you as a threat, especially if they are just about to knock-over the place.

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URBAN SURVIVAL: The Vehicle Emergency Kit

Puppies may be delicious but they are of no use to you if you become stranded

As most of you know I am not really a fan of the BOB and I think the E&E bag is best suited to CIA agents and Ninjas. But one type of bag or kit I think everyone should have is a Vehicle Emergency Kit.

I have been stranded out in the middle of nowhere after my car broke down two times, once way in the mountains in the middle of winter in Virginia and once in the desert in the Middle East.

Both times I was stranded I was seriously unprepared, I was hungry and freezing my ass of in Virginia and the other time I couldn’t get a cell signal (and my phone battery died) when I was stranded in the desert.

Despite working as a civilian contractor and generally being involved in the survival community for most for my life I still catch myself being complacent. So after screwing up and being completely unprepared two times I put together a list of basic things to keep in my trunk in case of emergencies.

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